“What does ‘annasense’ mean, anyway?

I get this question on occasion. It never meant much to me until a few days ago. But here’s how I created the name.

I know some people who may read this are lyric whores (you know who you are). Me, I never really was. I like the way music sounds, and rarely give much thought to meaning of songs. It’s harmonies that get me interested in music… It’s the sound itself. It’s just an added bonus when a) a song sounds amazing, b) I understand the actual words that someone is saying, and b) that I actually find relevant meanings in those words. I’ll be honest, it doesn’t happen much. Most of the time, I’ll take a line out of context that means something to me. I used to think that made shallow. But I’ve reconciled those feelings now, and I don’t think that what I prefer in music makes me shallow, it just makes me different [from the lyric whores]. There must be others like me. 🙂

Anyway, back to annasense. And yes, I prefer it with a lowercase “a.”

A few songs that I listened to way back when, probably back in 1995 or 1996, had lines that contained the word innocence or innocent. One was “Mary Jane” by Alanis Morrissette (“You’re the last great innocent and that’s why I love you”). Another was “Bittersweet Me” by R.E.M. (“I move across, innocence lost”). Both Alanis and Michael Stipe say the word with more of an “a” sound than an “i” sound at the beginning of the word.

At the time, the Internet was a fun new toy, and there was a chat site called The Palace that I frequented a lot. My friend Noel and I would put on our little avatars and go prowling around the site to meet new people, and to chat with one another. I didn’t want to use my name because I didn’t want to give that much of my “real” self to people I didn’t know. So I created this alter-ego me, and called her “annasense.” She was flirty and fun and outgoing… still me, but a more daring me.

I still use the name as a login to various sites, and as a pen name for reviews on products, and there are a few lingering email accounts with the name. But I really forgot what the essence was behind the name until a few days ago… when I was walking… and listening to another song that has the word “innocence” in it. It’s a song called “Tremble for My Beloved” by Collective Soul.

Now, I’ve been feeling some changes lately in myself. The desire to become a better person in every way possible. Not just looks, but in actions, too. Something is keeping me from getting out there in the world and meeting the person I’m meant to spend my life with, and I want to identify that something and destroy it.

Well, “Tremble for My Beloved” is on the playlist I listen to when I walk these days… and as I was thinking about this new-and-improved me, I heard the line, “Innocence takes flight.” Again, it sounds like “annasense.” And I realized (with the help and encouragement from a dear friend) that it’s time for me to take flight.

I want a tattoo now. I want it to say “annasense” and have some little angel wings incorporated into it. I’m working on the design now.