I’m resurrecting a post from the past… because there are actually people reading my blog now, and I want to know what they think.

So, the question was: Does Passionate, “I’d-Die-For-You” Love Really Exist?

I’ve been pondering this lately. I’ve tried to see it in relationships around me. I can’t name one couple whose love I would describe as passionate, I’d die-for-you love. Is that just an immature type of love? Or something made up for good TV ratings? I can remember junior high crushes where I really didn’t think I’d live through the “break up.” It was too painful… how would I go on? But even with my first love, while there was passion, I don’t think it went to the I’d-die-for-you extreme… which is likely a big reason why I chose to walk away. Does the absence of that extreme commitment make it healthier? More mature? Is it silly to want that at all?

I mean, I guess it would be a rare occasion that you’d ACTUALLY have to DIE for someone, anyway. But that total devotion to another human, that willingness to give up everything out of love… that confidence that this one person is your world… can anyone ever feel that safe or that comfortable in a relationship? Does anyone ever experience that level of trust?

I hate to think I’m jaded. I always thought of myself as very idealistic, believing in my happily ever after. But I hear all the stories from my friends… about husbands who cheat on their wives and never come clean… about men who make deals with their wives that hinge on losing weight or growing out their hair or some other silly physical characteristic that’s never good enough for them… about my friends, who have admittedly gotten bored in their marriages… about people who think that having babies will heal all the wounds in their relationships. They’d never admit they made the wrong decision, but they’re not living happily ever after.

Is there a certain man that carries that trait? Like a firefighter, or a secret service agent, or someone who literally puts their life on the line for others? If I end up with an accountant, can I just expect that he’ll never be able to protect me as much as I want to be protected? That he wouldn’t jump in front of the oncoming car and push me out of the way (God forbid)? Or are all men- all people, really- capable of this, it’s just a matter of finding that person that inspires it in them? I want to find someone who inspires it in me, I know that. Does that make me crazy? Reckless? Stupid? Naive?


Is this ideal? Or should we always put ourselves first? Is it unhealthy to do otherwise?