About Me · Random

The perfect man… for me?

This is another post my parents might want to skip over.  

A few weeks ago, I met this awesome author at a writers conference.  She seemed like she had it all to me: a husband, three kids, and time to write at home.  (I could go for fewer kids, but she was a mom, nonetheless.)

Anyway, I made a comment to her that I’ve made to many, many people, and she was very much opposed to my statement:

I’m not sure I have time for a boyfriend, anyway.

That’s what I said.  And I still think there might be truth to it.

As many of you know, I believe in the institution of LOVE.  Whole-heartedly, I do.  And not just yeah, cool, I’ll hang out with you love… or hey, let’s go back to my place, baby, love.  I mean sweeping, orchestral, the angels are singing, all-encompassing love.  Where I got the idea that this is at all possible, I’m not sure.  Movies?  Books?  Probably.  I mean, my parents are still happily married, but… yeah, they’re my parents.

Anyway, having made that statement, and seeing Ella’s reaction, it made me think.  Could I make time for a boyfriend?  And what kind of man would be right for me?

Since I have so many men knocking down my door, I figure I better sort this out.  Insert eye-rolly-emoticon here.

  • I like a guy with a sense of humor.
  • Someone who’s pretty casual, likes blue-jeans, that sort of thing.  (I know I’ve stunned half of my readers.  Jack isn’t your dream guy? you ask.  Some days he might be.  Nate was my first love, though.  You never forget your first love.  ;))
  • He probably needs to read a little– at least enough to know a) what I write, and b) who the characters are in case I might blurt out a name in the midst of… um, cooking.  It might happen.  (The blurting and the cooking.)
  • Oh, he might need to know how to cook, too.  I don’t mind learning and I can get by, but he might get bored with spaghetti after awhile.
  • I’d like him to be smarter than me.  Not, like, IQ test smarter necessarily, but I want him to just know more than me.  That might seem weird, but I never said I wasn’t weird.
  • He’d ideally have an older brother, because I’ve always wanted an older brother.  (I’m building the perfect guy, I can want what I want.)
  • He probably thinks more with his right brain than left.  (Again, readers… how does Jack fit into that?  I know, I know.)
  • He needs to be into the whole monogamy thing.  That’s how I roll.  (<– There’s Jack.)  All those important characteristics like being faithful, loyal, honest, trusting… those all go hand-in-hand here.
  • He has to accept that I live in my own brain sometimes.  No, not sometimes.  A lot of the time.  Which leads to what might be the most important trait…
  • He has to have hobbies and interests of his own.  This, I think, is the only way that I could ever make time for a boyfriend.  When I’m sitting at the computer writing from 8pm to 1am, he better have something to do, too.  Something that’s not too distracting… so no loud movies as he sits right next to me.  He’d need a man-cave, and I’m okay with that.  Video games are fine.  Even sports wouldn’t be the end of the world. He could be a musician (one without a wandering eye for groupies, though).  There are lots of things he can see or do while I’m writing… and I’ll always return to him when the love scene’s written and the document’s closed, and I’ll give him my full attention.  I’d want the same from him.

4 thoughts on “The perfect man… for me?

  1. Hi Lori – I think you are spot-on with: “He has to have hobbies and interests of his own.” So important not to be dependant on each other – I think that’s a recepie for love disaster!:-)

  2. I know what you mean about saying you don’t have time for a boyfriend, I spent my entire university life saying just that. It is an excuse though.
    I’ve made lists yours. Endlessly imagining what my perfect guy would be like. There are two problems with this. Firstly, the list changes. Mine does, at least. It changes with what mood I’m, who I’m socialising with, who my latest celebrity crush is, you get the idea. Secondly, having a list raises your expectations and results in you having standards that no guy is ever going to be able to meet. No one will be able to tick every box. I’m not saying don’t have standards of course!
    I’m just speaking from personal experience here as I have yet to meet a guy who looks and dresses like Benedict Cumberbatch, is an astrophysicist, loves outdoor pursuits, and owns a TARDIS.
    I think at the end of the day, all anyone is looking for is someone who makes them happy, with or without a list.

  3. Your dream guy is very much like my dream guy. I completely understand the ‘he must know more than me’ thing. I want to be able to learn stuff from my guy. I guess he doesn’t have to know MORE than me, but he must know different stuff from me. Like, be an astonomist or geologist or something…

    And cooking is essential!

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