Love Will lyrics: Twenty-four Year Wrath

Will and his mother have had a tumultuous relationship since… well, birth, pretty much. She was an alcoholic, and he resented her from his very first memory. In this song, Will has finally begun to see how alike he and his mother are, and he has finally started to forgive her for all the ways she failed him in his youth.

Twenty-four Year Wrath

Six young eyes look up in wonder
Watch a mother douse her pain
Family is torn asunder
Bottle bears a life of strain

Every sip; grows more unsightly
Serves him up another round
Bedroom door, revolving nightly
Asks us not to make a sound

A woman sharing my own eyes, unrecognizable to me
Rebelled against her nurturing side; just wasn’t meant to be
A broken heart, it crushed her soul, derailed her from her path
One son would blindly follow her, internalize the wrath

Love destroyed me, heart was hardened
I was sixteen, just a boy
She was faithless, then it started
Life was nothing but a ploy

Taking comfort in relations
Stroke me, use me, calm my mind
Never fearful of damnation–
I’m the boy Mom left behind

A woman sharing my own eyes, unrecognizable to me
Rebelled against her nurturing side; just wasn’t meant to be
A broken heart, it crushed her soul, derailed her from her path
One son would blindly follow her, internalize the wrath

She’s sober now and thinking clear
It’s me who can’t see through the blear
My brothers find the faults in me
I think it’s how I want to be
I realize when I’m all alone
I was always first to cast the stone
It’s her I see in this old mirror
She never left; she was always here.

Twenty-four and wandering, aimless,
Stumbled into love one day
Came to terms that I’m not blameless
Sorrow mounts, to her dismay

Empathy for all her anguish
Rushed me like a flooding creek
After that, she’d never languish
From the barbs I used to speak

A woman sharing my own eyes, unrecognizable to me
Rebelled against her nurturing side; just wasn’t meant to be
A broken heart, it crushed her soul, but couldn’t steal her light
One son would proudly follow her, encouraged by her fight

Love Will ©2016 Lori L. Otto

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Love Will lyrics: For Shea

Upon meeting Shea, Will began to look back at the man he’d been over the past eight years, and how that man was nowhere near good enough for this woman. He knew changes needed to be made, and for the first time in his life, he wanted to make them. He felt like he had a fresh start with her–she’d told him so–and he didn’t want to disappoint her.

For Shea

Serving only myself, out of control,
Shackled by guilt with no chance of parole.
Every night a new face; next morning I’m done.
To forget my mistakes, I repeat, then I run.

I do it to silence; I do it to calm.
I do it to hinder the ticking time bomb.
I do it for pleasure; I do it for pain.
I do it to placate the voice in my brain.

I’ve been wild in my youth, sloughing the blame,
Thinking anyone like me would act just the same.
A little boy caught in a turbulent past;
The wayward man I’ve become knew this life wouldn’t last.

I do it to silence; I do it to calm.
I do it to hinder the ticking time bomb.
I do it for pleasure; I do it for pain.
I do it to placate the voice in my brain.

The diversions were brief; conversations were few.
The words all meant nothing until I met you.
And now at midnight, just as the fire burns low,
I study your face; only one I must know.

Shea, all I see is that settling down with you
Is the farthest thing from settling I could do.

I sleep soundly, in peace, and when morning breaks
I stand steadfast beside you. There are no more mistakes.
I have no want to run from this man anymore
‘Cause there’s now someone else for him to live for.

I did it to silence; I did it to calm.
I did it to hinder the ticking time bomb.
The pleasure is ours; the future is, too
And I can’t wait to spend my whole life with you.

Love Will ©2016 Lori L. Otto

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Love Will lyrics: Liar

Will wrote this one as he started to realize he was falling for Shea, the woman he meets while the band is stuck in a snowstorm in Minneapolis. Shea has accused all musicians of being liars; Will has assured her that he is really a physicist by profession, which he is, despite the fact that he’s on tour with Damon.

Liar

There’s one just like you back in Toledo
Can’t even remember her name
And that girl I saw twice in Miami
Yeah, she made me feel the same

I’m not even a musician. You say musicians lie.
So back up; plug your ears to me. I’ll only make you cry.

You’re not special to me, Minneapolis,
Stared into eyes like yours before
My heart loses its rhythm all the time
Don’t think you’ve made me feel more

I’m not even a musician. You say musicians lie.
So back up; shut your eyes to me. I’ll only make you cry.

I don’t think I could ever love you
I’ve seen prettier girls around
Known smarter women; more compassionate ones
In many other towns

I’m not even a musician. You say musicians lie.
So back up; close your heart to me. I’ll only make you cry.

I don’t get nervous when you’re around. My palms don’t even sweat.
I don’t get jealous when you talk about all the other guys you’ve met.
Minneapolis, I’m not falling in love with you. If I can’t have you, I won’t die.
Fuck, the only truth I’ll admit to you is this whole song is a lie.

I’m not even a musician. You say musicians lie.
So come, open your heart to me. I’ll never make you cry.

I’m not a musician.
I’m not a musician.
This whole song is a lie.
I’m not a musician.

Love Will ©2016 Lori L. Otto

Liar

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Love Will lyrics: Brookings, SD (Peron’s song)

Peron’s girlfriend of three years, Brooke, breaks up with him while he is touring with Damon’s band. The song gets its title from the next city they play, which they feel is a strange coincidence and a good opportunity to start the process of getting over her.

Brookings, SD aka the break-up song

I went out with a girl that I liked
She was tall, she was blonde, she was Brooke
It was love at first sight; I was psyched
But her feelings for me, I mistook

It was after a show when we met
And she offered her hand, which I shook
There was kissing and passion and sweat
And then late that first night, yeah we hook’d

Up and away
I went to play
Was already planned
Just me and my band
Nothing illicit
Loved her explicitly
Few months later
I’d learn to hate her

Just finished a gig at a club
In need of a rest, which I took
Got a text on my way to the pub
Was an incoming message from Brooke

“Hey, I think that it’s time that we talked.”
Least original line in the book.
Took her two texts to tell me.
I balked At this horrible plan that she’d cook’d

Up and away
I went to play
Was already planned
Just me and my band
Nothing illicit
Loved her explicitly
Few months later
I’d learn to hate her

She went on to fuck some other schmuck
She said it was love; fit her like a glove
The guy is a crook, ‘cause he stole my Brooke
Now she’s giving him head, in their newly-bought bed

Up and away
I went to play
Was already planned
Just me and my band
Nothing illicit
Loved her explicitly
Few months later
I’d learn to hate her

But I know one day soon, they’ll be kissing
And she’ll know he’s not right, and she’ll look
Just to see what’s she’s got, who she’s missing
But then when she comes back, I’ll be book’d

Up and away
I went to play
Was already planned
Just me and my band
Nothing illicit
Loved her explicitly
Few months later
I’d learn to hate her

Love Will ©2016 Lori L. Otto

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Love Will lyrics: Done Away

This is the second song Will writes for the woman he meets in Love Will. He’d felt so inspired when he met her that the words flowed easily until he kissed her, and it took his breath away, leaving him voiceless and without words.

Done Away

The lines cascaded
as if drawn with a brush
the fluidity of them sustained
until perishing in a hush

Feel away; steal away from me my fear
Done away; run away with me my dear

The silence was a kiss
a breath consuming mine
words vanished in the ether
my vision in decline

Feel away; steal away from me my fear
Done away; run away with me my dear

Two seconds free from her, gasp the reviving wind
her smile played a song for me, from the beginning to the end
wrong of me to think she’d taken from me the best
saw what I was missing and she gave to me the rest

Feel away; steal away from me my fear
Done away; run away with me my dear

Inspiration at hand
closer than she’s ever been
ideas I never had before
she feeds me from deep within

Feel away; steal away from me my fear
Done away; run away with me my dear
Feel away; steal away from me my fear
Done away; run away with me my dear

Love Will ©2016 Lori L. Otto

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Love Will lyrics: Where Your Horizon Meets Mine

This is a song Will wrote that described the love he wanted for himself, but didn’t think he deserved.

Where Your Horizon Meets Mine

A somber, autumn morning
Lying prone on a pile of brittle leaves
Bare feet, eyes to the earth
Roots steal her air like indulgent thieves

Hopelessness guides her
Her heavy heart hides her,
Presides over logic but
Casts it aside

Pulling myself up, telling you I’m fine
Stumbling to that place where your horizon meets mine

Midnight in the spring
No direction, no permanence, no place
Satchel packed, eyes to the sky
Stars take his breath away like a tight embrace

Curiosity feeds him but
His past leads him
Speeding away from
All that he’s known

Wandering the earth, looking for a sign
Until I find the point where your horizon meets mine

In the brilliant summer sun
Strangers give in to a magnetic force
Self-conscious eyes discover new faces
She smiles at his rambling discourse

Literature ignites and
Music unites them
Lights a sweltering flame
That lasts a season, maybe two

Finally at peace, a feeling so divine
Grateful that I’ve found where your horizon meets mine

But winter’s iciness is all it takes
To devour the warmth, once so strong
Sudden darkness rips out the pages
Vacuum sucks the notes from the song

You return to the earth where I found you
Hopelessness prevails and I am through

After wandering the earth and looking for a sign,
I’m starting my life over where your horizon once met mine.
I’m starting my life over where your horizon once met mine.

Love Will ©2016 Lori L. Otto

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The poetry of Love Will

The most disappointing thing about Love Will not becoming anything close to a commercial success is the fact that hardly anyone will ever get to see the poetry that is buried in the 542 pages of this book that I love. I thought about publishing them in a separate book with a short story, but I knew I’d run into the same problem with that.

Not wanting the world to miss out on the ‘lyrics’ that ‘Will’ wrote in Love Will, I’ve decided to publish them on my blog every day for the next eleven days. I’ll try to give a brief description of Will’s motivation (or Peron’s, his bandmate, because he wrote one of the songs), so you can see how it fits in. The poems/lyrics may not quite have the depth that they would within the context of the actual story, but I still think they’re pretty good.

Here are the titles of the upcoming ‘songs.’ I’m posting these in the order they appear in the book.

  1. Where Your Horizon Meets Mine
  2. Done Away
  3. Brookings, SD (Peron’s song)
  4. Liar
  5. For Shea
  6. Twenty-four Year Wrath
  7. Standard
  8. Restart
  9. Oleander Petals
  10. Harness
  11. Hey, Hampton
  12. My Sol

Excerpt from Love Will

Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. I’d call myself a slacker, but I’m pretty much the farthest thing from that. I’m just writing a book instead, which is actually why I’m here. I thought I’d give everyone a little taste of Love Will, the book I’m currently working on. This book is a spin-off, but I’m writing it like a stand-alone, so you’ll have plenty of background info to be able to jump into the story once the whole thing is released. (Reading Crossroads, Will’s novella, is a good idea, though.)

For now, a little background is needed for those of you who haven’t read Love Like We Do. Will is a guitarist, and he’s gone on tour with a band. Peron is the bass player.

And remember from Crossroads: Will Rosser is no Jon Scott.


It’s been a great arrangement for me, really. In college, my head was in my studies all day. After I graduated, I was one-hundred percent focused on work and research. If I went home, I couldn’t turn my brain off. I’ve never been able to. To escape, I’d read more books. Learn more things. There’s never been an off switch. But on the nights I play gigs with Damon, I can slip away into the music and transcend… my presence. My being. It’s like I’m a part of something on another level of existence. It makes me feel infinitesimal and astronomical at the same time. A certain calm and numbness takes over. After shows, I’m on a endorphin high, feeling completely relaxed and focused on extending the sensation. That’s where the women come in. I meet a beautiful girl. She strokes my ego. We have a little fun, no strings attached. She gets her release, and I get mine. It puts me into a deep sleep. The post-gig-sex-sleep is the only restful sleep I get.  Regular sleep doesn’t erase the day; doesn’t stop my brain.

Regular sleep is all I have to look forward to on this tour if I go through with this new Will bullshit. Is this what I want?

“I’ll just assume from your silence that you aren’t really sold on this idea,” Peron says.

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, you didn’t say anything. Silence.”

“You know how I work, Peron. Without this, silence will be a thing of the past for me.”

“Music.” I wait for him to say more. I motion for him to continue.

“Music what?”

“You have to replace it with music.”

“I’ve tried,” I say, frustrated, leaning back against the bench so I can tug at my hair without my friend’s physical discouragement. “If that worked, I would have been healed of this affliction long ago.”

“But you never really had to do it. You’ve had your sexual crutch and you’ve used it often. Pretend it’s not there anymore.”

“Pretend my dick isn’t there,” I say with a straight face.

“Yeah,” he says right back to me.

I look briefly at my lap and then back up at him. “That one. The one that reminds me fifty times a day that he’s feeling frisky and wants some action?”

“Yeah. What, you think yours is special?”

“Well, yeah, I kinda do.”

“It’s not.”

“Ask any of the girls I’ve been with.”

“I wouldn’t even know how to find them. I guess we could put up posters or something…”

“Fuck you,” I tell him, moving out of the way to let our waitress set down our plates of food.

“Were you talking to me?” she asks.

“Oh, no! I’m sorry, no, I was…” I start, looking up to her apologetically until I realize she’s flirting with me, not accusing me of being rude. I like older women, but there’s a distinction between older women and old women. This woman’s just… old. “I was talking to him.” I point to my friend and smile sheepishly, not wanting to offend her. I take a drink of the Coke I’ve been nursing.

“My buddy here is, uh… fucked out for the night.” I choke out the drink onto my plate and Peron’s. When I recover, I stare wide-eyed at him, disbelieving what I heard. For one thing, Peron rarely curses. And another, did he really just tell our waitress I’m fucked out? Like I’m coked out? Or played out?

The waitress doesn’t stick around any longer.

“That’s not a thing, Peron. And if it were, it’s not true. I didn’t have sex with Julia…”

“I just saved you from making another mistake. Did your special dick twitch for her, too?”

“No,” I say with a bit of a laugh. “God, you’re an asshole sometimes.”

“I’m just trying to help you.” He takes a bite of his food, not paying attention to the droplets of soda on his eggs. “Like you asked me to.”

“I think you just kissed Julia by proxy. I spit on your eggs and you just ate them.”

“I’ll take whatever I can get,” he says, purposefully unfazed by my taunting.

“Brooke would hate that.”

“Not as much as she hates you…”

“You never should have told her about me. My sex life is none of her business.”

“You hit on her after a show.”

“I didn’t know who she was! It was the first time we’d met, Peron! She was just pissed I turned her away when she failed my test, anyway,” I tease him. “I don’t take drunk girls home. And man, was she drunk!”

“She has social anxiety. She was nervous to meet everyone.”

“Yes, I know she’s as fucking neurotic as you. That’s why you’re perfect for one another.”

We both focus on our food, shifting the conversation to our joint love of bacon. Their strips are so crispy here, they fall apart when you bite them. My favorite kind of bacon.

After I finish eating, I finally glance around the restaurant and see a few pairs of eyes staring in my direction. I decide to look away instead of inviting their attention with the smile.

“Listen, Will,” Peron says, leaning over the table and talking softly. “I don’t want to have to listen to what may or may not be you doing it with a girl every other night three feet away from me on the bus. I don’t want that from Damon or Tavo, either, and I don’t think they’d do that–nor would they get away with it. We all know you have your issues, right? Add that to the fact that you’re probably at least forty-percent of the draw to these shows, and you get more forgiveness than you probably should.

“But it’s gonna get old quick. So you gotta figure it out.”

“I know.”

© 2015 Lori L. Otto • Duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited.

Love Will.

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